Apple's Replacement Policy SUCKS

OK, I had my first really unpleasant experience at the Apple Store today.

It pretty much started about 11:30 this morning when my not-quite-one-year-old black MacBook crashed and wouldn't reboot. There was nothing I could do to get it to start up again. I'd press the "on" button and all I got was a grey screen.

So I logged on to the Green Hills Apple Store website and snagged a 1:45 PM appointment at the "Genius Bar."

At the store, when my number came up I was greeted by the rather imposing figure of a "Genius" named Ben. It would only take a few minutes to learn why they like to put big gnarly guys behind the counter.

After performing a few simple diagnostics, Ben determined that the bad news was that the hard drive had died. Kaput. Finito. Finale. El Morte. Dead. Shit happens.

The GOOD news is: I am on the three year "Apple Care" plan for this MacBook. So the hard drive is covered.

The other GOOD news is that I'm pretty well backed up. I'm running the Leopard OS which has the Time Machine automated backup program and I've got an Apple Time Capsule dedicated backup drive in the basement, and the last backup was performed this morning about an hour before the crash. I've also got a three-week old stand alone back up on an external firewire drive. And another backup on a USB drive. So, one way or another... I've got everything.

But here's the REALLY BAD NEWS: Apple's policy regarding replacements under warranty states that once they have replaced your hardware, the old unit becomes "property of Apple Computer." So what they want to do is remove my hard drive and replace it with a brand spanking new one... and then they expect me to walk out of the store and LEAVE MY OLD DRIVE AND ALL THE DATA BEHIND!

Uh, excuse me? Say what? Just walk out with a blank drive and leave all my data behind? Seriously??

Sorry, I don't think that's gonna work.

Yes, I know the drive is no longer functioning. But the data is still on it. And if, perish the thought, after restoring my OS, apps, and files to the new drive, I discover that there is some critical kernel of data missing that I must recover, there are ways to recover data from crashed hard drives. Expensive, and no doubt time consuming ways, but ways nonetheless. UNLESS you have walked out of the store and left your old hard drive behind. Ain't now way you're going to recover a single kilobyte if you leave them all behind.

So -- silly me -- I tried to debate this policy. And that's when I discovered that, reason be damned, the customer be damned, the POLICY WILL PREVAIL. That is why they have large, imposing individuals like Ben behind the counter. Because there isn't any amount of calm, well articulated, or impassioned reasoning that is going to have any effect on personality like Ben. He is not there to serve the customer, he is there to serve Apple and enforce its Draconian policies.

I tried a couple of different approaches. "How about you replace the drive and let me hang on to the old one for about 30 days until I'm sure I've recovered everything I need to recover?"

"No." Apple policy says they take possession of the old drive immediately upon replacing it with a new one.

"OK, how about YOU hang on to the drive for a couple of weeks before you send it to whatever graveyard you send dead hard drives to?"

"No." The policy says that they are shipped wherever they go immediately upon repossession.

So let me get this straight: I abandon the Windows platform, invest numerous thousands of dollars to become a total Apple/Mac devotee, I buy all the warrantees, all the peripherals, and drink all the fucking Kool-Aid, and THIS is the result: "Leave all your data with us, thank you and goodbye."

Gee, I can't imagine why that would be problematic. I mean, it's not like there are any passwords or account information or other kinds of sensitive data stored on my hard drive. Naaah. So why would I have a problem with leaving the drive with a store full of complete strangers, having ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA where it would go next or what would happen to it? How do I know how damaged it really is? How do I know it's not going to wind up in the hands of some diabolical 15 year old with a Phillips head screwdriver who knows JUST how to fix a failed drive long enough to grab all the data off it?

The conversation with Big Ben went on for about 10 minutes. I tried really hard to be reasoned, measured, and calm. I like the Apple Store. I like the people there. I like the whole Apple mystique and being part of it. I didn't want to offend anybody.

But I also wanted to get my hard drive replaced AND I wanted to keep my old drive JUST IN CASE. But as the conversation proceeded, it became apparent all to quickly that I might as well have been talking to a fucking WALL. The policy would be enforced at all costs. I was not leaving the store with a new hard drive AND the old one.

I finally asked Ben to "show it to me in writing," this confiscatory policy that I had unwittingly signed on to when I purchased Apple's extended warranty plan. Ben disappeared into the back of the store for about 5 minutes, which gave me enough time to calm down a little and contemplate my options -- not that there are very many.

Ben did offer me one "option" He said that I was perfectly welcome to take the computer to MacAuthority, a store here in Nashville that specializes in Apple products. Of course, that means shelling out cash for a new drive, something on the order of $150. Which is not all that onerous, I suppose, except that I've already paid Apple $250 to cover just such a contingency. Only I didn't realize when I forked over the $250 that, in the event I actually needed the warranty, I'd be expected to walk out of the store and leave all my data behind... they neglected to mention that little detail when they took my money, and it certainly hadn't occurred to me to ask.

By the time Big Ben returned with a print out of the Warrant policy, it had finally dawned on me that I did not have to do anything right that minute. At the very least, I could go home, fire up the MacBook from one of the external Firewire drives that I have backed up to recently, and then I would be able to see what in fact I have available re: backups before I leave the old drive behind. I have done that now and I'm satisfied that the data is backed up, although I'm not exactly sure what is going to be the best way restore everything when I do have a clean new drive in place.

Still, the whole experience has left a very unpleasant taste in my mouth, and for the first time I am genuinely disappointed in Apple. So THIS is what WIRED magazine meant when it described Apple as "Evil/Genius" in a cover story a few months back. Yeah, everything works great -- until it doesn't, and then, well, fuck you Mr. Customer, our policy will prevail, and if you've got a problem with that, forget your warranty and go spend more money somewhere else.

Never mind how much I was enjoying my Macs, how problem free they are, or how much I'm not missing the hassles of PCs and Windows. When things go haywire, you are at the mercy of The Company.

When things do go south, a reasonable company will make some effort to provide solutions that a customer can live with. That is not what I got from Ben today. What I got from Ben was "this is our policy, take it or leave it."

So I left it, and I still haven't decided what I should do next. Do I take the MacBook back to Apple on Monday, take the warranty replacement, leave the old drive behind, and then get about whatever it takes to restore from my backups?

Or do I take the problem to MacAuthority, give them $150, and hope that they can help me figure out what to do next?

I guess I'll sleep on it.

- - - - -

Coming up next: The restoration dilemma: I have everything BUT my Parallels and Windows partition in the Time Machine backup. The Parallels and Windows stuff in on the Firewire backups. How do I get Parallels and Windows running on the new drive?

Comments

[Bill Fowler]

I have often wondered about what can happen when you exchange an ipod for battery replacement. There is great potential for extracting the paid itunes somewhere in the process (especially if the refurb is done south of the border). So I whole-heartedly agree with your concerns over data security on a PC.
Switch to a PC and let Steve Jobs know why.

[macmarine]

This policy sucks bigtime – as do many things with Apple Inc. I am hooked on the Mac since 1990 and still use much of their hardware on a daily basis. OSX has been a major improvement over the classic OS but it still has to come a long way in terms of stability and performance. Now, the era of the iPhone has ushered in a lapse in quality in many other departments including hardware reliability.

In your case I would consider to take the MacBook back home pull the dead drive (easy on a MacBook) and give it a good scrub with a strong electro magnet. An old geezer like me still has one of those tools used for demagnetizing the recording heads of HiFi tape machines in the olden days. That should do the trick without any visual damage to the drive. Then put it back in and let the genius "have" it.